June 1, 1997
My Dearest Betty,
I have found the work here to be hot, tiring, and monotonous. It appears to be exactly what I need to keep my mind off my failures of the other life, the life we shared together, the life I let slip through my fingers. I can exist here, and that is all I can hope for, all I deserve.
I hope you are here with me, but feel free to explore wherever you are at the moment, heaven must be expansive, with much to explore. You always loved traveling and exploring new places, and I will be here if you need me, I’m not going anywhere. I believe this is the place I should be… I don’t think I’ll ever leave.
I Love You
We were on our descent into
Cincinnati, the last two
hours fairly uneventful, even without my last seat mate, or maybe because of
her not being near.
I pondered over the journal entry in front of me, having not remembered how fervent my position had been back then. Although I had still felt more or less the same way until a day ago, I now carried the sadness of leaving my friend behind to fend for himself.
It was not that Frank wasn’t more than capable, but I had left him with no backup, I had always had his back. I just couldn’t shake the feeling that this wouldn’t have happened if I had been with him, that my self-centered outlook of the last year had cost him his life.